Do you think you are lazy? I used to believe that I was lazy. I honestly thought that I was just useless at keeping a house, a terrible mother and constantly wondered “Why the f*** can’t I get it together?” I would google things like “How to keep my house clean?” “How to stay organised when you are lazy?” and had frequent meltdowns that ended in me crying & yelling “our house looks awful and I’m a terrible mother and why can’t you (my husband) help more!?” Have you been here too?
The problem was threefold for me. And spoiler; the truth was not that I was lazy.
Firstly we had a lot of stuff!! My son was able to go through the house like a tornado from the time he could crawl. He could empty the entire tupperware drawer in a minute flat. Toys – so many toys, laundry (no laundry bench space or cupboards), home-based product business made for squishy living. Every year more gifts piled in and the house filled up.
I hated the house we lived in. It had bright blue counter tops and yellow cupboards. Yellow-cream walls with stark white curtains drove me bonkers – and it was so open plan that our laundry, kitchen, dining, loungeroom & desks were all in the same room. A recipe for disaster when you have a toddler and waaaaay too many things. It was a rental property so we couldn’t do anything cosmetic to it, and I felt like no matter how hard I tried to make it look nice it always felt “busy” – and it was. There were 4 enormous windows & sliding doors, and another small window. Furniture everywhere due to the open plan, and no room for artwork or photographs on the walls. I found it really hard to appreciate and enjoy that open space. Spaces that you love are so much more fun to maintain!
Secondly I was being too harsh on myself. Going from being responsible for just yourself, to having a; family, a home, dog, a new business, planning a wedding and trying to lose weight was a big ask! I was trying to be all things to all people. Especially as a new mothers I believe that we need to give our-self a pat on the back for getting through another day. We may have depleted energy from being up all night with the baby, from learning how to cope in a new routine etc – we need to cut ourselves some slack!
Thirdly, I was trying to do too much, but my schedule (and physical space) were not set up in a way that helped me.The truth is probably similar for you too. How many “big” things are you trying to accomplish at once? Are you trying to do too much – perhaps writing a book, raising kids, trying to run a business and keep your marriage alive, post on social media…not to mention the endless housework & laundry!
These are the three main changes that helped me;
1. Purge Your To-Do List & Schedule
Simplifying your to-do list is a great way to start. Start by identifying your priorities, and then create your schedule around them. Be ruthless about what is important to you and your family.
Look at your time commitments. Are you racing around like a headless chook? No time to spend thinking about your priorities, or what you want? It’s time to track how you spend your day. Start questioning EVERYTHING. Question if something adds to your life, or takes away from it. Question your assumptions. Question doing things out of guilt or just because “it is the way it has always been”.
2. De-clutter Your Physical Space
But what made the biggest difference to my time? De-cluttering physical things. The more things I let go of, the less time housework took. If maintaining your house only took 30 minutes a day, how much more time would that give you? If your children could pick up their own toys – and it wasn’t overwhelming for them, what would that mean for your family?
Decide where to start de-cluttering your home and jump right in. Are you always washing, washing, washing? De-clutter your families clothes. Are you always picking up kid’s toys? De-clutter their toys! If you want to join a supportive community, click here. If you want a guided program to help you de-clutter your entire home in 60 days, click here!
Discern more, so you have less to do. By setting up your schedule and physical space mindfully you can gain so much mental freedom!
3. Give Yourself A Pat On The Back. Progress, Not Perfection
I can’t stress this enough, if you don’t take care of yourself and appreciate the PROGRESS you have made your schedule and clean home won’t mean squat! You will feel burnt out, resentful and you will never “get there”.
The only time we have perfect homes is when no one lives in them. That is the truth! Be happy that there are people living in your home! Yes I believe that our homes can be gorgeous and enjoyable, but I think striving for our homes to look like a Pinterest picture can set us up for failure. Like a shetland pony trying to race a thoroughbred, most of us don’t have the resources & tools to make our homes look like a Pinterest picture – and newsflash, neither do the people who took the picture! They are staged to look inviting, which is the point – we go to Pinterest & blogs to be inspired. But don’t mistake a snapshot.
So every week make a date with yourself. Take care of yourself and practice your favourite self care routine. For me that is a face mask and a bath with candles lit. You can reflect on the progress you made this week, or even write a gratitude list and appreciate all you accomplished in the past week. Which can be as simple as the fact that your children were fed and made it to school on time!
Head over to my free facebook group and let me know if this resonated with you > https://www.facebook.com/groups/thedecadentminimalist/